Fights between partners happen to the best of us. I think it’s a normal part of any relationship. It’s not a question of IF we should fight, it’s a question of HOW we can fight more effectively. In fact, I believe that married couples who don’t have any conflict are often the ones who end up in divorce. If one or both partners are indifferent toward their relationship, they don’t care enough to even fight, and therefore they part ways. Some of the best breakthroughs in therapy come from couples finally being able to fight and let out their frustrations and negative emotions. I am not promoting heated and hurtful conflicts; but you need to learn to have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together.

Let me describe Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages, and provide specific recommendations on how to communicate more effectively according to each category and what you should avoid.