An Open Letter to My Former Clients

Photo credit: Indre Pauraite Photography

Hey everyone!

I am always surprised when a former client calls me and says “My name is …. You saw me a couple of years ago… Do you remember me?!” This blog post is for my former clients who wonder if I still remember them. The short answer is – “OF COURSE!” The therapeutic relationship is a professional relationship, and I would never contact a former client as that would violate the boundaries of our relationship. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about you. I get to learn about your most intimate and secretive thoughts and experiences. We get to cry and laugh together. We get to explore your past and make sense of it. We find ways to change your future and shape your life. I hear so many funny stories that I often laugh to myself when I recall one of them. I get to learn about your work and school. Sometimes, when I pass a certain bar or park, I think about the stories you told me. I think about the courage it took for you to go to that dentist’s office or draw your blood. Sometimes, when I am at the airport, I think about some of you who had a fear of flying and how you overcame it. You flew. Without Xanax. What a kick-ass you are! I wonder if you still fly and whether you are perhaps traveling alone in the jungle of Congo. I hope your visa was approved, you went home, and hugged your loved ones! I think about the pilots and whether you were able to get that certification for intercontinental flights. I think about the nurses and doctors who save lives every day and how devastating it is to lose one of your patients. I wonder if my teenage clients ever went to their dream college and got to ask that girl out on a date. I am curious whether you ever cashed that check I wrote for you, so you could pay for your application to Harvard. I think about the couples and wish they would explore their marriage in new ways and give their relationship a go… Or maybe leave it and start a new chapter. I think about the lonely people and wonder if they were able to make more friends. I think about the ones who were bullied and whether they continue to stand up for themselves. I wonder if you picked up that bottle again. I hope you stood up for yourself and left that asshole. I think about you and wonder if you will ever call me again to get more help. I wonder how many of you think dark thoughts and struggle alone. It breaks my heart when I think about you suffering alone. Remember, I can’t reach out to you. It means that if you are out there, struggling alone, there is no shame in reaching out. If you don’t want to or can’t call me, call another therapist. There are so many good ones out there! There is no shame in brushing up on old skills and maybe learning some new ones. If you ever think that you are all alone and no one thinks or cares about you, know that there is someone out there who does. It is a difficult time for everyone, and I want you to know that I think about you and send you my good wishes. If you are doing well, I also want to know about it. Please send me postcards, emails, texts, and pictures. It always makes my day when I get one!

Asta